There comes a time in one’s life that you question what your life’s purpose is. Some would call it a life crisis, an intense yearning for something more. The past six months I’ve experience great changes in my professional life that has led me on a path of new discoveries. This past November I left my job of eleven years as a special education paraprofessional to take a leap of faith to work in a whole new setting, as preschool teacher in a well-known daycare. It was my hope not to just better myself but give my family a better financial future working a year around job.
Few weeks into this job, I soon discovered that it was not for me. Corporate run childcare, wow what was I thinking? I longed to be the children I educated and cared for, I missed their unique style of language and expressions highlighted for their achievements of their goals. I found myself on my days off, volunteering in the special education class of my previous post. I felt like I was at home, a new perspective, about a position I once held confirmed what has always been a huge part of my life. My purpose, to glorify God it is not about money it is about what I can do for those in need. Princess Diana once said, “Only do what your heart tells you.” I agree.
In the days following of the revelation, a sense of dread swallowed me, volunteering to work with sped students added to the feeling of being trapped in my current position. My passion inside that I once felt at its full intensity, now had been snuffed out suffocating my sense of purpose. It was evident that I needed to fix my current situation and make it right with the universe. I really did not know what was going to happen next, but I knew I needed to go back to the position I once held for more than a decade. As my anxiety arose on a cold winter’s day as I head into the director’s office and handed her my resignation. At that moment, my heart-felt warm and I knew a new journey was on my horizon.
What was the new journey? At first I thought about going back to school for teaching, but found out that boat had sailed even though I received news of acceptance to the Para to Sped program at a state university. Feeling no regrets in turning it down as I felt an immense relief because I could not in good conscience put my family’s financial future at risk so I could accumulate debt in my mid-forties. Not to mention I have a teen daughter and in two years would be off to Art College to realize her dream of an author / illustrator.
Finally, the circle is almost complete, securing my substitute position with various districts I now know what I really want to do. I love the flexibility of subbing, able to explore different positions while practicing the virtue of patience letting my destiny be revealed. In the meantime I plan on spending time with inspiring students, colleagues, bloggers, friends, and family. And who knows maybe I am meant to be a writer after all, sharing inspirational stories with readers like you. If anything is learned from such an experience is to live in the present, let your destiny complete your circle.